guest

Let's be honest: isn't a lot of what we call tap-dancing really just nerves?.

I think Superman and Santa Claus are actually the same guy, and I'll tell you why: Both fly

and both have a beard.

People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side

which is the preening.

i'm a little tea pot short and stout

this is my facepalm and this is my pout

maths

We're all afraid of something. Take my little nephew, for instance. He's afraid of skeletons. He thinks they live in closets and under beds, and at night they come out to get you when you're asleep. And what am I afraid of? Now

I'm afraid of skeletons.

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws

can make a child look like a deer.

When you're ten years old, and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide

I drove by and splashed him again.

I think the most beautiful sunset I ever saw was on page 4 and 5 of The Book of Sunsets.

god dammit

my scrupples

are getting *very* worked up

I'm sorry but could I please speak

to someone who's parents weren't closely related?

How slowly and clearly do I have to speak

for you to be less of an idiot?

angry phone jay meme

the other end

no it's okay

i'm just trying not to yell at you