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amos.parker

and even dead people laugh

and even dead people laugh

Chuck Norris

2

so heavy i couldn't lift it. then i lifted it.

so heavy i couldn't lift it. then i lifted it.

Chuck Norris

2

made own virgin olive oil.

rubbed mary magdalene down with it. grew her cherry back.

made own virgin olive oil.

rubbed mary magdalene down with it. grew her cherry back.

Chuck Norris

2

didn't break a sweat

didn't break a sweat

Chuck Norris

2

had an hour to kill

had an hour to kill

Chuck Norris

2

killing an hour

killing an hour

Chuck Norris

2

gave a crowd of 100 women orgasms

by waving at them. From a mile away. in fog.

gave a crowd of 100 women orgasms

by waving at them. From a mile away. in fog.

Chuck Norris

1

dick cheney shot me in the face

he had another heart attack

dick cheney shot me in the face

he had another heart attack

Chuck Norris

1

cheney in the face

cheney in the face

Chuck Norris

1

death and taxes

are just evitable to me

death and taxes

are just evitable to me

Chuck Norris

2

no one lives forever

no one lives forever

Chuck Norris

2

wall street tried to rape me too

i raped it instead

wall street tried to rape me too

i raped it instead

Chuck Norris

1

I had a seat on the stock market flying at 30,000 feet when it crashed

i walked away without a scratch

I had a seat on the stock market flying at 30,000 feet when it crashed

i walked away without a scratch

Chuck Norris

1

the internet bubble burst while I was working security for it

it was my first bathroom break in almost a decade

the internet bubble burst while I was working security for it

it was my first bathroom break in almost a decade

Chuck Norris

2

he has to crap outside

actual boa constrictors wouldn't fit in toilets either

he has to crap outside

actual boa constrictors wouldn't fit in toilets either

Chuck Norris

1

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