Matrix Morpheus Meme Generator

Your dad, 63, discovers the telly can pause live programmes. He pauses the news, walks to the kitchen and back, and unpauses it, looking at you like Neo seeing the code. He has done it eleven times today.

A colleague shows you that meeting invites have a "decline" button. It has been there the whole time. You have accepted four hundred meetings.

Your personal trainer leans in, very serious, and tells you that paying for the gym doesn't count as going. You pay him 40 pounds an hour for this.

What if I told you that you can leave the group chat? You can. It's an option. Nobody ever has. Nobody ever will.

Why it caught on: it's Laurence Fishburne as Morpheus in The Matrix (1999), offering Neo the red pill or the blue. He never actually says "What if I told you" in the film; the internet wrote it for him, and it makes anything sound profound, especially things that aren't.

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Best Matrix Morpheus posts

• What if i told you / that the scumbag generator link on the left never works
• What If I told You / You can chew with your mouth closed
• What If I told you / Romney & obama both lie
• what if i didn't tell you
• WHAT IF I TOLD YOU / THERE ARE OTHER PHONES OUT THERE BESIDES THE IPHONE
• What if i told you / There was more to an election than same sex marriage and abortion
• What if I told you / My suNglasses Aren't hooked over my ear
• what if i told you / lately memegenerator has been full of repeats and shit
• what if i told you its not monday you hate / its your job
• what if i told you / the lottery is a tax for stupid people
• What If i told you / memes are just inside jokes for people with no friends
• WHAT IF I TOLD YOU / THAT NOT EVERY WOMAN WHO FRIEND REQUESTS YOU WANTS YOU
• What I if told you / you read the first line wrong
• what if i told you / that you can eat breakfast without posting snapshots of it on facebook
• WHAT IF I TOLD YOU / YOU DON'T NEED a new year to make resolutions
• What if I told you that the unicorn frappuccino / Is actually unicorn diarrhea
• WHAT IF I TOLD YOU / You could take a picture and NOT post it to Facebook.
• what if i told you / that the version of history you were taught in school was heavily revised to favor your own nations agenda while hiding its crimes. and in doing so fostered an unrealistic sense of false patriotism used to manufacture your allegiance to a corporate entity masquerading as your government?
• what if i told you / trump's border wall was to stop human trafficking, not keep legal immigrants out
• what if i told u / spending $600 on a phone is stupid