It Was Me, Dio! Meme Generator
The number calling you looks local. You pick up thinking it's the GP surgery. It's a recorded voice about the accident you never had.
The email subject line says "Your refund". You open it with hope in your heart. It's a newsletter from a shop you bought one candle from in 2020.
You see a parcel on the doorstep and feel the joy of a gift. It's your flatmate's. It's a bulk pack of toilet roll. You carry it in anyway.
The friend who said "I'll just bring a few snacks" turns up with a single bag of rice cakes and his new partner, who you have to be nice to for six hours.
Why it caught on: DIO's smug reveals, "Kono Dio da!", from Phantom Blood onward, became the fandom's bait-and-switch template: set up one thing, deliver the vampire instead.